Lessons I have Learned about EGO standing in the way of true wealth, health and happiness

Samantha Estill
26th November 2019

I have learnt many things in the pursuit of happiness but the most important is that ego will derail the pursuit every-time, if you let it. As an executive woman for 20 years working 18 hours a day and selling my sole to “wealth” and “success” I told myself that I was on track for the life of meaning that I dreamed of, but which seemed always to elude me.

What I seemed not to learn, was that while each promotion, stroked my ego, it also came with new responsibilities. The higher salary used for paying for all the things I did not have time to do for myself: An au-pair for the children, a housekeeper to maintain some semblance of a home life and a driver to squeak out a few moments of precious time as I had none (or so it seemed).

The biggest toll of living the lifestyle that Ego creates is the toll that you do not see. While others around you envy the lifestyle, the holidays the success and the recognition that you have earned (emotions flamed by their own ego), they will not see the guilt, stress, failing health and exhaustion that your ego hides from them and you. You will tell yourself that you will start to spend more time with the kids, be more present, think about your health and take a break after this project and then the next and then the next.

What you need to remind yourself in everything you do is that most “things” are an ego construct that you do not want to be a slave to. There is a reason why “Miles of pristine beaches, trails to explore, and spectacular sunsets over the ocean” yell out to you. Why blissed-out photos of yoga and tai chi, with the sun setting in the background are literally crying your name.

“Isn’t it time to do something for YOU?”

You hand over your credit card number in five minutes flat. A few days later you are out the door, bound for Lake Something-or-Other for a weekend of communing with nature, and trying to reconnect with the real you that ego has stolen.

The place you operate from is excellent at keeping you a slave to ego, there is a reason the most popular blogging topics are fashion, food, exotic holidays and bigger homes with more things in them. Online shopping is a global phenomenon, it is all designed by ego to take your money while rarely adding anything back to the happiness barometer. Stop accumulating unnecessary stuff.

Tell the truth to others but primarily to yourself. You have to fight the urge to preen, own and seek approval from others to get more praise or applause. Do not do things so that some anonymous person out there might think more of you, do them because the people that matter most to you will benefit. That doing them will make you WHOLE. Know that you are enough, that you are not a failure for staying true to yourself or for acknowledging that in this world of EGO dominance you may have lost sight of what truly matters, but you are ready to get off that merry-go-round.

Follow your own instincts, even if you walk alone for a while. If the “experts” are telling you to walk through the poison ivy, wave at them, stay on your own path, and catch up with them later. Not everyone is going to join you or appreciate your opinion on ego. And that’s okay. Hey, remember it is there ego that keeps them there, and that is an uncomfortable space.

Most importantly the absence of ego does not mean you will lack ambition or wealth, health or happiness. You will be all of these things but you will not seek approval from others for the choices you make and you will achieve abundance in your life born from your love of life not from an attempt to keep up with someone whose approval you think you need.

It is never too late to learn how to steward your finances, time and talents towards the things that matter most. Get a wealth coach and start living a more inspired life today.

What does Wealth mean to you?

Jackie Glassock 

8^th October 2019

As a wealth coach, clients don’t only come to see me about money.  Having spent most of my career in a traditional retirement fund business this is a little different from what I was used to, where we focused on increasing assets and reducing debt in preparation for retirement years.

One of the first very important questions that I now ask my clients is “What does wealth mean to you?”.  It is alarming that many people focus only on the financial element of wealth.  More and more a growing number of clients, often those who have amassed quite substantial amounts of money, are giving wealth a much broader meaning.

In the context of my coaching it is clear that wealth is no longer just an abundance of valuable things and money. It is very evident that true wealth is more of an inner condition of being.  To be truly wealthy it is important to focus not only on growing one’s monetary wealth but also to focus on spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical aspects of one’s self.  Without these you will never be truly content, happy and healthy. 

It seems pointless to work harder and harder to build wealth that is not going to make you happy.  In a book I recently read by Esther Wojcickir called “How to Raise Successful People: Simple lessons for radical results”, Esther says: “I have met a lot of millionaires and even some billionaires who are not happy”.  A clear indication that you may not have looked at the holistic meaning of wealth, making sure all quadrants are being nourished and fulfilled.  It seems that in the pursuit of money true purpose may have been lost.

It’s very important to know right from the outset which of these other competencies are high on your value chain.  What this does is give you a better idea of what will bring you peace and make you happy.  Understanding this will ensure you are shooting for the right target so that when you get there you aren’t disappointed. It is also imperative that you do not focus on one element of wealth at the expense of the others, only to find yourself unhealthy and miserable with a big bank balance down the line.

 

We need to look at Wealth like a hot air balloon. If you have a good quality balloon (the monetary part of your wealth) and you focus on all four elements making up the air in the balloon (spiritual, intellectual, physical and emotional) the balloon will float effortlessly upwards as soon as you heat the air with the burner. By the same token if you ignore one or more of the elements of the balloon, it will merely be a big colourful piece of ripstop nylon lying in a field. 

Heating the air ensures effortless results and a peace that you can only experience when you are floating in the silence above the frenzy and noise of daily living.  The balloon will not soar unless it is whole, this same holistic approach to wealth needs to be in focus at all times.

For anyone wanting to focus on wealth creation please explore these 4 important questions:

1.     What does wealth mean to me?

2.    If wealth is not just about money for me and in order to attain my version of wealth, what other elements in my life do I need to focus on?

3.     How will my life be different when I have reached my wealth goals?

4.    Am I ready to take responsibility for building and creating my wealth?